Teenagers will eventually ask questions about puberty, pimples, pregnancy, and promiscuity.  Providing answers will be easier if parents have already established open and comfortable lines of communication. Current culture practices “raw” exposure of physical abuses in Hollywood, politics, and schools, thus is creating an atmosphere of sensual overload, causing teenagers to think about things they wouldn’t normally discuss. But, thoughts linger until questions need answers.  Sometimes teenagers will just suddenly pop a question about dating, feelings, and body changes, while fishing with dad, or cleaning house with mom.  Moreover, if your family practices Bible-reading, your children will be curious about such terms as, Song of Solomon, ”woman caught in adultery”, “concubine”, “laid with her”, “spilled his seed”, “ forced her”, “David took Bathsheba”, “Rahab the harlot”, “Adam and Eve covered themselves because they were ashamed”, and other explanations of sexual relations, terms, and incidents.  Parents can use such exposure to initiate “The Talk” incrementally.  Some teenagers are ready to receive a comprehensive explanation; other teens want a simple parental response to a particular question. For those children, provide explanations as requested, rather than a parent-teen sit-down to talk about the “birds and bees.”

Parents who homeschool, or enroll their teenagers in other schools of choice, are often reluctant to have “The Talk” about reproduction and relationships.  That is understandable; they hesitate because of not wanting to put thoughts prematurely in young minds. Or, parents may feel awkward discussing human anatomy.   However, most teenagers already have those thoughts, because they are created to reproduce in marriage, plus contemporary culture seems to be “caught up in” sexual encounters and experiences. Media (TV, Facebook, magazines, CDs, DVDs, smartphones) constantly bombards families with illicit affairs that clutter minds, and shatter marriages and careers.

Consequently, youth are exposed to a lot of “bad” stuff regardless of parental efforts to keep youth innocent. Wise parents take time to explain “good” and “bad” relationships, and how and why males and females are “built” differently.  Therefore, parents should consider going through the ABCs of puberty at or prior to the onset of adolescence. Girls usually reach puberty a couple of years ahead of boys, so “The Talk” should be conducted at appropriate ages.  A special time alone with mom or dad is good strategy, so youth feel more comfortable asking questions and receiving explicit information. Some parents deal with the puberty issue in association with a “promise ring”- discussion that builds trust and confidence. If mom and dad avoid the issue, peers and media will infiltrate your children’s minds with a lot of wrong information about human relationships, and/or your teen may want to experiment with passionate “petting” with ignorance about how babies are made”; that could cause pregnancy!  Rural children have the advantage of learning about the birds and bees by watching cows and bulls, hens and roosters, and studs and mares. Urban parents might want to take the initiative like rural parents to have “The Talk.” Often, when parents finally get around to “The Talk”, teens will remark, “Oh, Mom I learned about that years ago.” Following are some suggestions for explaining the ABCs of puberty to your teenager on your terms and your schedule:

A – Anatomy: assign the Paradigm Anatomy course to initiate the conversation and prepare teens.

    Anatomy is a study of the composition and function of body organs, including reproductive organs.

    Assault: hurting someone for selfish reasons. Teach children to run, fight back, yell, and tell.

    Abstinence: waiting until marriage to experience intercourse.

B – Bible: read selections of the Bible with teens to springboard wholesome talk on human relationships.

C- Curiosity: teenagers are curious about their changing bodies, and will ask questions: provide them.

D – Development of distinctive male and female reproductive organs should be discussed.

E – Explain what is happening to the teenager’s body: menstruation, night emissions, pubic hair, etc.

F – Feelings (moods) are caused by physical and chemical changes in reproductive organs: talk!

G – Goodness: Help other youth to be good, pure, honest, virtuous, — to keep a clear conscience.

H – Hormones:  Explain the normal changes in hormones that initiate puberty and what it means.

I –  Intercourse: Explain how males and females are designed to reproduce through marital sex.

J –  Jealousy: Being jealous of another teen’s anatomy is common, but each teen is designed special.

K – Knowledge about puberty at an appropriate time gives confidence and assurance of normality.

L – Love is not the same as lust.  Make sure the differences are explained. (Some people lie about love.)

M – Marriage is the result of love between a man and woman in-order-to start a family.

N – Needs: people have physical needs, as well as the need for love, affirmation, and companionship.

O – Ovaries are designed to produce eggs that will meet with sperm during copulation.

P – Puberty is the period of growth that prepares males and females to produce children.

    Penis: the male organ designed to cause a female (wife) to become pregnant.

    Passionate “petting” and secluded experimentation usually get “out of hand” quickly.

Q – Questions deserve answers; teenagers usually accept honest discussions about growth and sex.

R – Romance with the opposite gender is a normal adolescent experience (but, often turbulent).

    Rape: forcing intercourse on an unwilling person (usually violent/ hurtful to both persons).

    Restraint of passion is easier when each teenager is committed to keeping the partner innocent.

    Recreational experimentation with the anatomy of partners leads to disease/pregnancy/guilt.

S – Sex is a natural thought on the minds of teenagers as the Creator prepares them for adulthood.

Stimulation occurs when “petting” and foreplay occur in secluded places: avoid the possibility.

T – Testicles are male organs that produce seeds that impregnate a female (wife).

U – Urges/desires to express love through sexual acts are normal, but need to be reserved for marriage.

V – Vagina: female anatomy that receives a male penis to produce children.

       Virgin: a person who has not experienced intercourse.  Wait until the wedding night to change that.

X – ‘xcitement during romance produces urges to have sex: avoid being alone/intimate during dates.

Y – Yielding to desires for sex before marriage clutters the conscience and damages the wedding night.

Z – Zone: The pubic area designed for reproduction in the zone of marriage. Stay pure for marriage.